I had two very different interactions which made me think of how important it is to encourage the ones we love and to "lift them up". One of them is very positive and never ceases to put a smile on my face. The other was something that happened to me on Sunday night that just made me shake my head in disappointment. I am sure you get the picture that the positive story has to do exactly with what I am talking about, and the other story has to do with what happens when the opposite takes place. I shall explain. Let's start with the good one first, shall we?
I belong to a book club with ladies from my church. I love it so much. It is a great excuse for us to get together once a month, talk about our favorite books, visit, and have some yummy desserts, too! I have to admit that although the desserts are such a treat (no pun intended), what makes me so happy is that I get to be a part of something so uplifting. The talks, jokes, and laughter are all in good spirits. We all care about each other and genuinely enjoy the time we spend together. Every time I am there, and even after I leave, I feel so spiritually and emotionally uplifted. These friends truly "lift me up". Now, I am truly fortunate because I have many people in my life (family and friends) who do this for me. I am surrounded by good, honest, loving people. This example makes me feel so good inside, but something not so great happened just three days later that was the complete opposite.
As most of you know from my previous posts, I work at a hotel in my town. Just a few days ago, a lady who seemed very unhappy, came to the desk and was just so mean. She was complaining about an injured bird in our hotel parking lot, and complaining that no one did anything or called anyone. It wasn't what she was complaining about, it was how she talked to me. She talked to me like I was an uncaring person, like I was stupid. Now... I know better then to believe that, but it sure doesn't feel good having to deal with these feelings in the moment. I was pretty proud of how I handled it. I told her I'd call a Humane Society. I'm not so much proud of what I did, but how I did it. As soon as her mean spirit came shooting at me, my face just got blank... completely serious... and I told her I would take care of it. I didn't apologize for anything, I didn't make it sound like she was right in how she was treating me. I was behaving in a way which she could not get mad at me. I was trying to make her do some self reflection and to hopefully make her feel a little embarrassed for her behavior. It worked.... When I would not argue with her, or even the opposite, figuratively "kiss her feet" and boost her ego, she said, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like a (bad word), but...." I'll be honest, I was offended that she used that bad word... even if it was directed at herself. I didn't need to hear it. I said, "I never said that or meant to imply it. I'm taking care of it." Even though I was really frustrated in the moment with this woman, I am now feeling very sorry for her. I had other interactions with her, and she seemed miserable. It was as if she delighted in proving that she was right, which meant the other person was not only wrong, but "stupid". As I mentioned earlier, I didn't believe it, but it sure is exhausting to have to deal with these type of people.
I know that this was a very annoying thing that happened, but it reminded me of how fortunate I am. What if I had these type of people in my circle of family and friends? What would be even worse is: What if I was used to dealing with this type of person? I am so glad I was able to have my book club last week to help balance out this unhappy woman. It is so true that "misery loves company". My question is, what do the miserable people do when they find that their "company" will not play their own "misery game" with them? My hope is that they will reflect on their behavior and strive to want to be better.
I feel like my family and my friends do a lot of "lifting me up" in my life. I hope I do the same for them. This reminds me of: "Love thy neighbor as thyself", and "Pray for your enemies". It's easy to love your neighbor when they are wonderful, but how hard it is to not only love the people who are mean, but to pray for them, too? That takes a lot of compassion and understanding. I feel like dealing with negative and mean people is good practice for me. It's settled, that is what I will do. Each time I come in contact with someone who is so unpleasant, I am going to tell my brain, "Remember your blog! This is practice for your development of compassion and understanding." My first step is apply this thought about the poor woman who was just so unhappy. I see now that her talking to me wasn't personal. I just happened to be in her line of fire. After writing all of this, I am feeling better already.
Thank you for reading.
Happy Tuesday to you and yours...
I belong to a book club with ladies from my church. I love it so much. It is a great excuse for us to get together once a month, talk about our favorite books, visit, and have some yummy desserts, too! I have to admit that although the desserts are such a treat (no pun intended), what makes me so happy is that I get to be a part of something so uplifting. The talks, jokes, and laughter are all in good spirits. We all care about each other and genuinely enjoy the time we spend together. Every time I am there, and even after I leave, I feel so spiritually and emotionally uplifted. These friends truly "lift me up". Now, I am truly fortunate because I have many people in my life (family and friends) who do this for me. I am surrounded by good, honest, loving people. This example makes me feel so good inside, but something not so great happened just three days later that was the complete opposite.
As most of you know from my previous posts, I work at a hotel in my town. Just a few days ago, a lady who seemed very unhappy, came to the desk and was just so mean. She was complaining about an injured bird in our hotel parking lot, and complaining that no one did anything or called anyone. It wasn't what she was complaining about, it was how she talked to me. She talked to me like I was an uncaring person, like I was stupid. Now... I know better then to believe that, but it sure doesn't feel good having to deal with these feelings in the moment. I was pretty proud of how I handled it. I told her I'd call a Humane Society. I'm not so much proud of what I did, but how I did it. As soon as her mean spirit came shooting at me, my face just got blank... completely serious... and I told her I would take care of it. I didn't apologize for anything, I didn't make it sound like she was right in how she was treating me. I was behaving in a way which she could not get mad at me. I was trying to make her do some self reflection and to hopefully make her feel a little embarrassed for her behavior. It worked.... When I would not argue with her, or even the opposite, figuratively "kiss her feet" and boost her ego, she said, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like a (bad word), but...." I'll be honest, I was offended that she used that bad word... even if it was directed at herself. I didn't need to hear it. I said, "I never said that or meant to imply it. I'm taking care of it." Even though I was really frustrated in the moment with this woman, I am now feeling very sorry for her. I had other interactions with her, and she seemed miserable. It was as if she delighted in proving that she was right, which meant the other person was not only wrong, but "stupid". As I mentioned earlier, I didn't believe it, but it sure is exhausting to have to deal with these type of people.
I know that this was a very annoying thing that happened, but it reminded me of how fortunate I am. What if I had these type of people in my circle of family and friends? What would be even worse is: What if I was used to dealing with this type of person? I am so glad I was able to have my book club last week to help balance out this unhappy woman. It is so true that "misery loves company". My question is, what do the miserable people do when they find that their "company" will not play their own "misery game" with them? My hope is that they will reflect on their behavior and strive to want to be better.
I feel like my family and my friends do a lot of "lifting me up" in my life. I hope I do the same for them. This reminds me of: "Love thy neighbor as thyself", and "Pray for your enemies". It's easy to love your neighbor when they are wonderful, but how hard it is to not only love the people who are mean, but to pray for them, too? That takes a lot of compassion and understanding. I feel like dealing with negative and mean people is good practice for me. It's settled, that is what I will do. Each time I come in contact with someone who is so unpleasant, I am going to tell my brain, "Remember your blog! This is practice for your development of compassion and understanding." My first step is apply this thought about the poor woman who was just so unhappy. I see now that her talking to me wasn't personal. I just happened to be in her line of fire. After writing all of this, I am feeling better already.
Thank you for reading.
Happy Tuesday to you and yours...
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