I want to talk about my mom this week. I noticed that when I have written about my childhood in recent months, that I haven't talked a whole lot about my mom. It dawned on me that a lot of lessons she has taught me was more of learning by her example. I am so grateful for my mom and all she has done for and taught me. I feel like my mom is one of my best friends. She is someone who I can turn to for a listening ear, advice, a good laugh, and a sturdy shoulder for emotional support. I remember at different points in my life having something that was fun to share with my mom. What is making me smile right now is that some of these things we have always liked to do for different reasons. For example, I love taking drives with my mom. When I was little, it was because that was a sure fire way to make me take my nap; as I got into my teenage years, it was a way for us to enjoy listening to music and taking in some scenery; and as an adult, we have turned off the radio and have some really great talks. Another thing we have always enjoyed are episodes of "I Love Lucy". I grew up watching that show with my mom, but now, we can have lengthy and hilarious discussions of favorite quotes and episodes. What a great way to pass the time...
There are a couple things I want to focus on how my mom has helped me grow into the woman I am today. She taught me the following life lessons not only by having talks with me, but by living her life in these ways and showing me how. The first one I can think of is my mom has the best way of giving me, what I like to call, an "ego check". I don't consider myself to be an egotistical person, but I am human. There were times when I would think that my situation (whatever it may be) was right no matter what. Of course, there are times when I'm right, but there are also times for me to understand that I may have a chance to learn something (aka--a nice way of saying I'm wrong). I remember having several talks with my mom when I was in my early to mid college years, and her telling me this sentence that changed my life, "Don't let your ego get in the way". When she told me this, I remember saying, "Do you think I'm egotistical?" Her reply was, "No, you didn't hear me. I said, 'Don't let your ego get in the way'." What she explained to me is that we are all human, and we all have moments when we don't think outside of the box. I remember in the first circumstance of her telling me this, it had to do with my feeling wronged or inconvenienced my something or someone, and by my mom talking me through it, she made me see that I had a chance to learn a lesson. It was her own gentle way of poking a needle in my head full of hot air, and deflating it. It was very much needed, and I thank her for that. She has the perfect way of bringing me back down to Earth when I need it, and not hurting my confidence or self esteem. As a matter of fact, I always end up feeling better about myself in result of it. I am happy to say that I think I have learned that lesson well because she hasn't had to say it to me lately.
My mom has been someone who continually does her own self reflection. She has taught me that throughout our lives, it is our responsibility to look within ourselves to make any improvements in areas needed. When I learned that I had Social Anxiety Disorder, it was so comforting learning some tactics of how to deal with it from her experience. She has always been there to give me gentle guidance. I don't remember her being forceful in her approach of giving advice, especially in delicate matters. She seems to know how to say things in just the right way to get the point across without making it sound like she's telling me what to do. That is truly a gift. When I was in high school, she taught me, "What other people think of you is none of your business". This threw me for a loop. I said, "Of course it's my business because what they think about me is my business". She explained that whatever someone thinks about you (especially if it's not favorable) is something they have already made up their mind about, and I wouldn't be able to change it. They were the ones who have the ability to change their own minds, and all I had to do was continue being myself. What other people think is their issue... is their problem.... I found that so freeing. I still have to remind myself of that from time to time, but I love that.
The last thing I'll share is something that my sister brought to my attention. As a matter of fact, a lot of these topics came up when we were talking about them yesterday. She gave me some really great thoughts to think about, and one of them is that my mom knows when to have the "Mom Hat" on and the "Friend Hat" on. Whenever we talk, she knows when we need to have mom talk and friend talk. The funny thing is that they aren't that different from each other. She is someone I feel I can always go to with whatever is on my mind. I think of some people who may not have that closeness with their mom's, and I can honestly say that I can look at my mom and call her my best friend.
I know that as I write, my sisters can read this and say the same things. I appreciate the lessons and examples my mom has set for me. I know I don't say this as often as I should, but she someone who is intelligent, compassionate, and funny. These are traits I hope I get from her.
I love you, mom...
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