Letter to me...

I am sitting at my desk, and I am listening to a Brad Paisley song.  I complete forgot about it, and how much I loved it.  It's called, "Letter to me".  In this song, he writes to himself when he was 17.  He gives advice on school, girls, and family.  It is really sweet.  You all should youtube it if you've never heard it.  Me being 17 years old was only ten years ago, but even now, I feel like I can relate to the lyrics.

If I could write a letter to myself back then, what would I say?  What wisdom would I impart?  I think I would say something like this:

* Don't worry so much about what your peers think of you.

*When people aren't nice, don't let it hurt you so badly.  You will be so much happier sooner that you can   

  imagine.

* Yes, you will marry the man of your dreams, so don't worry 

   about that. :)

* Keep writing.  It will help you more than you know.

* Ask Grandpa Lester as many questions as you can, and 

   write down all of his stories and advice.

* It's not the end of the world if you get a bad grade.  Just do 

   the best you can.

* Don't worry about disappointing others.  

* It's okay if you make mistakes and people call you on it.  If 

   anything, it will help you learn more about yourself.

* Don't be so quiet your Senior year.  At the end of the year, 

   you will have realized that there were some great people 

  you missed out on knowing.  Keep this advice your whole 

  life.

* Pay attention to your sisters advice about the clothes you 

   should/shouldn't wear.  They really know what's best.

* There will be a boy who kicks the chair out from  

   underneath  you in front of the whole class.  Instead of 

   hitting him (it was a girly hit, not a punch), think of a really 

   good zinger, and let it go.

* Don't worry about the friends who stopped talking to you 

   your freshmen year because of one mean girl.  You will  

   make  the best friends of your life very soon afterwards and 

   be so much happier.

* Remain positive and continue to stay true to yourself.  

* Practice standing up for yourself.

* Don't be discouraged when people tell you that high school 

   are the best years of your life.  You will have an 

   okay time in high school, but your life afterwards will be 

   filled with a lot of great experiences and happiness.

What would you say if you could write a letter to yourself?  To be honest, I don't dwell on these things, but after listening to that song, it really made me wonder on the subject.  Even though that time of my life was only about ten years ago, there has been a lot that's happened in that time frame.  I look forward to what the following years have in store for me.

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Being a Kid Again

I completely missed last weeks post (did anyone miss me?).  I had a very busy week, and it completely slipped my mind...

Not much to report this week.  I can't think of anything too earth shattering, but I do want to share about an experience I had yesterday.

At my church, I teach in the Sunday school for the eight year olds.  Since this is a relatively new class and age group for me, I was suggested to have them over to my house so as to bond with them outside of church.  I had a lot of fun preparing, but I also did a lot of the preparations last minute (why do I do that?).  By the time they showed up, there were snacks on the table, balloons on the walls and on our door, fun paper plates, cups and napkins, and a festive red table cloth (made of plastic).  They came and we did an activity with construction paper, then when they all showed up, we played six games.  At the end of each game, they got to read a clue, and the clue led them to a piece of paper.  This piece of paper was a part of a puzzle I made which had a message.  I think they really loved that.  The message said that we were going to take a trip to a yogurt shop, which is a couple blocks from my doorstep.  I wanted them to play all the games I remember playing when I was a kid.  Some of the games we played were: pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, duck-duck-goose, and I had them race with lemons on a big spoon (and they could only keep running if the lemon was on the spoon.  This is a lot harder than it looks!).

They were only here for about two hours.  It was a lot of fun.  They're all good kids.  Watching them have fun reminded me of how much fun I had when I was little playing these types of games.  They all laughed a lot.  There is one girl who is very sweet, and she is just a little shy.  I cannot tell you how excited I was when I heard them all laughing, and there were a couple times when I could hear her laughter above everyone else.  

I remember being little, and seeing my mom watching me play something or opening presents on Christmas, and thinking, "She must be so bored!"  I remember her commenting how much she likes to watch us enjoy ourselves.  To be honest, I just couldn't believe it.  Now that I'm older, I know exactly what she's talking about.  There is something very special about doing fun things for children you love (even if they aren't your own), and watching them enjoy it.  

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Making a Difference

I was at church this last Sunday, and a young man gave a talk about "looking up".  He talked about how important it is to "look up" to heaven for answers.  He is a convert to my church, and he talked about how his becoming a member came to be.  The thing that stuck out most was how he said that we (as a group and individually) made him feel so good.  He also mentioned the way we live our lives and treat others had set a good example for him.  He quoted scripture from Matthew:

Matthew 5:14-16

14  Ye are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.

15  Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

16  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

This made me ponder... a lot.  I have heard this scripture before, but it really touched me on Sunday.  To be good and honest people, it is our responsibility, our duty, to rise above and be the ones setting the good example for others.  You can take this and apply it in so many contexts.  I am thinking of our youth right now.  How difficult it must be to be a young person these days.  There are so many influences that are being hammered into their young, impressionable brains and hearts.  We are so lucky to have so many opportunities and conveniences today, yet there are so many poor examples and influences penetrating the minds and spirits of people today.  How hard it must be to try and set a good example for others and be a young person in today's world?  I was in the parking lot at our local grocery store, and I heard some young men (high school age) saying the foulest things.  Now... I do remember being that age and saying these types of things just because I could... but I see it in a different light now.  I am not saying to myself, "They need to shut their mouths!"  I'm thinking, "Oh boy... how many people... how many children are hearing them right now and thinking it is 'cool'?"  I look at what is on our televisions, on the internet, and how easy it is to access EVERYTHING on our cell phones, iPods or iPads etc....  This makes me uncomfortable sometimes.  

This young man giving his talk on Sunday said (I'm paraphrasing), that if we ever feel like we aren't giving service to others, that he wants us to think of him, and how by us being ourselves (being kind and good) helped him find peace.  

This message can be for anyone.  By being good and honest people, and by helping others, we are making an impression on them.  Even if we think it's small or not at all, it could mean the world to them.  I think of the scriptures and how amazing Jesus is, and how he served others.  If we all could follow suit (and I know many of us do), but if everyone did... how amazing would this world be?

Happy Tuesday to you and yours..

P.S.  Happy Birthday, Mom!  

Happy Birthday, Dad! (on Saturday)

Happy Birthday to my father-in-law! (also on Saturday)

Happy Birthday to my aunt this week! (on Thursday? Ahh! I can't remember... some niece I am!)

Yes, that's right, my dad and father-in-law share the same birthday.  Doesn't that make it so easy for me and my husband?

Paying Tribute Where it is Due

This has been a busy week.  I am just now able to sit down and write for this weeks blog.  I am at work right now and am reflecting on a funeral I attended last Saturday.  My boss from high school is someone who I still keep in-touch with, and we also lived down the street from each other my Senior year.  Her mother was older and quite unwell the past few years, and she passed away.  She was a very special woman, and I am honored to have known her.  I want to dedicate this blog to her and share with you all how amazing and strong she was.

She was born in Oklahoma in the 1930's, was the youngest of 14 children (oh my!), and she was born with her left arm only down a tad below her elbow.  She excelled in school and atheletics.  She played basketball and softball, and of all positions to have played in softball, she was the pitcher.  In her adult years, she taught physical education at the local high school (where I grew up), and she even taught my mom.  My mom loved her.  All of her students called her "Teach".

I always admired her.  She never let anyone tell her what she couldn't do.  This woman could do anything she put her mind to, and she certainly did!  She had many wonderful qualities.  She was kind, loving, hard working, strong, and spoke her mind.  I think what I looked up to her the most was that she spoke her mind.  I appreciate the fact that she did this in a way that was tough but also loving.  That truly is an art form!

I would like to share a couple of stories from her funeral service which showed her strength and love.  This first took place when she was a young woman.  She had moved away from Oklahoma, but went back for a short time.  She went on a bus and spotted a young mother and baby sitting in the back.  She loved children, so she decided to sit back there and meet the young mother.  She was enjoying herself, chatting with the young woman, playing with her child, and the bus driver said, "Ma'am, you'll have to move to the front of the bus."  The bus driver was talking to her.  There was segregation at this time, and the black people sat in the back, and the white people were supposed to sit in the  front.  Needless to say, she ignored the bus driver.  He said it for about the fourth time, and she said firmly, "I'm not moving to the front of the bus."  He said it again, "Ma'am, you'll have to move to the front of the bus."  She responded firmly, "I will get off this bus before I move seats."  The bus driver stopped the bus, and she stepped off.......... with a standing ovation from the people she had joined in the back of the bus.  Talk about standing up for your beliefs and sticking to your guns.

The second story was later in her life.  A young man spoke briefly at her service.  He was a student of hers in high school, and he was in a wheelchair.  He said that on rainy days, the students would either play sports indoors or they would square dance (she loved to dance).  When she was about to demonstrate how to square dance, she needed a student to help her show all the others.  She chose the young man in the wheelchair.  He was always so touched by her acceptance of him, and he looked up to her.  This was very touching.

One more story came to me just now.  I learned at her service that she would go to veterans hospitals (I'm assuming during the Vietnam War?) and visit amputee's (especially ones who lost their arm(s) ).  Many times these young men would feel extremely depressed, and she would talk with them.  She would encourage them with, "If I can do it, you can do it."  She helped countless people througout her whole life.

I felt it important to share these stories in my blog.  Sadly, it is very easy to forget the service that people do once they pass away.  It is up to the people who are still here to open their mouths and continue to remember and honor them. 

I am so fortunate to have known her.  She set an incredible example of how to live life.  I hope I can set even half of the example that she set for me.

Happy Friday to you and yours....

Lessons I am Learning

I feel like I have been thinking (and talking about) my grandfather a lot lately.  I think it is because he taught me so much in his life.  He taught me things not only by talking but also by example.

I found out a few years ago that the following was his favorite poem...

IF

By: Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Just this moment, I looked up at the poem and re-read, "If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch...".  If you think about it (past or in more present times), and you are in a group, how many times have you (in one way or another) lost your virtue?  I know it has happened to me before.  I can think of times when people have said things or told jokes that were not very nice, and I just accepted it in one way or another.  Two of my proudest moments were when I didn't care what people thought, and I didn't go with the crowd.  One story happened in high school.  This can be an incredibly difficult time for youth, and my goodness, I certainly felt the challenges of life in those days.  There was one popular girl on our basketball team.  We were getting ready for a game, and she told a racist joke.  It touched me deeply because she was talking about a race of someone who I love very much.  I didn't look at her, and I continued to get ready.  She noticed that I was the only one not laughing.  She asked me why, and I said to her in a very matter of fact tone, "I just don't think those things are funny."  This made the girl very uncomfortable, and I think she even apologized.  It was a very big feeling of empowerment for me.  Years later, there was another time when this was happening more continually, and I did not have the courage to say anything.  The "being quiet" thing didn't work either.  I was suggested to do a "silent protest".  Anytime I heard anything that made me sad or uncomfortable, I would just leave area.  This made me feel very good.  I may not be able to change what others say or feel, but I can at least remove myself from the situation for that period of time and feel at peace with myself for doing that.

There are certain times when I wish I could shout from the rooftops exactly how I feel and why.  I'm too afraid of hurting peoples feelings and making them feel uncomfortable.  I feel like my silent protest is a happy medium for me.  I can remove myself from the situation, not hear the things that make me sad, and I can hope and pray that others will notice and reflect on the things that they say which aren't nice.

Now, I am by no means perfect!  I'm sure that I've had my fair share of times when I have put my foot in my big mouth.  What I am referring to above are bigger more specific things.  I also think I want to change my new years resolution.  Earlier in the year, I wanted to learn how to deal with stress better.  Although this is something I want to do, I don't want it to be a resolution.  I've changed my resolution to be more understanding of others.  One of many ways I can start being more understanding is, if I hear something that makes me feel sad or uncomfortable, instead of getting upset, I will try to see where the person is coming from and hope and pray for a way to help them (if I can).  

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

The World We Live in Today

I watched "To Kill a Mockingbird" yesterday for the first time in years.  This was a movie I watched with my mom in my youth quite a bit, and it was a book I absolutely loved.  I see the movie differently now than I did when I was sixteen.  When I was sixteen, I understood many of the messages in the film, but I notice even more now.  I see how incredibly important and different Atticus was in his small town.  He was not only a great lawyer, an ideal father, but an incredible example of strength, integrity, and compassion.  While watching it, I also couldn't help but notice how the children could run around the neighborhood and the town without worry.  They walked to and from school by themselves.  It wasn't the perfect town, but it felt safe and secure.  I watched the making of the film, and it interviewed people who lived in the town of Maycomb, Alabama, and they testified of how small, safe, and simple the town felt in those days (the 1930's).  I feel a sense of longing when I hear about places and times like these.  I grew up in a small town myself, and I remember walking around the neighborhood and town, but I never felt this pure safe feeling.  I always had in the back of my head, "Don't talk to strangers, etc."  Don't get me wrong, I am glad that I had those cautions because it made me aware of my surroundings.  I think being aware of your surroundings is good for everyone to have (especially women).  I remember being a young girl when Polly Klaas was kidnapped.  I was still "little" but old enough to understand that there was evil in the world.  What scared me so much back then was the very night she was kidnapped, I too was at a friend's house spending the night (which, if I remember correctly, was similar to her story).  That changed me.

I understand that even a long time ago, there were still bad people doing awful things, but I feel like things are so different now.  For instance, I live in another small town.  It is filled with friendly faces, beautiful landscapes... the list goes on, but a horrible thing happened a street away from my doorstep this last Saturday.  Two men stabbed four men outside of a wedding reception.  That's right... a stabbing.  I didn't know this at the time, all I knew is that there were sirens going off from 11pm until after 1am.  My husband said that when he went to work early in the morning, he still saw police and caution tape at the scene.  I feel weird that this happened so close to my house.  The victims survived.  Everyone is saying that it due to gang activity.  How sad...

I remember a good friend of mine telling me the following, "There is no such thing as a safe place... only safe people."  That is so true.  What I got from this is that, sadly, awful things can happen anywhere, but if you surround yourself with good and positive people, you feel safer. 

I am sorry to make this a sad posting.  I wish that the world was not so violent.  I feel like a lot of these things are happening more now because on top of the usual: gang activity, etc... there are incredibly desperate people due to the economy.  I hear of burglaries happening in homes and businesses on the news.  I saw on MSNBC.com where a man held up a front desk clerk at a nice hotel, and another guest of the hotel with law enforcement background tackled the guy and made him surrender.  The man with the gun said he was doing it because he had no money and Christmas was coming and he wanted to get gifts for his daughter.  I don't know if that was true, but this made me so sad.  These people are so desperate that they are putting other people's lives on the line.  Maybe this particular story spoke out to me because I also work at a nice hotel?  In any case, it makes me feel like I miss times like in "To Kill a Mocking Bird", even though I didn't live back then.  Has anyone else felt like they miss things even though they have never experienced them?

It is against my nature to end on a depressing note.  I must think of something uplifting to say.  I am grateful for my community and the friendships I've made here.  In the past couple of years, I feel like I have a great network of friends close to where I live.  After moving away to go to school, I didn't make many friends where I live now.  I was so busy with school and work, so I just kept my old friends.  It was sad at times because we were all spread out.  I'm happy to say that I am still friends with those friends, but now I have forged more friendships here.  A lot of this has to do with joining my church last year and getting to know so many more people.  All of these things make me feel happier than when I first started writing this post.

Thanks for reading and,

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

A Quote That Made Me Think

Last week, I was reading in one of my church magazines, and there were three sentences that jumped off of the page and into my heart.  I had such a strong feeling that I even wrote it down and put it on my mirror in my home.  I would like to share it with you:

"Don't be afraid to make choices because you are afraid of making mistakes.  Don't be afraid to try new things.  In doing so, you will find joy in the journey."  Elder Carl B. Cook

I used to have an incredible fear of making mistakes.  I have overcome this fear quite a bit in recent times, but I feel like it still lingers (I think most people can relate with me on this).  It makes me wonder how much joy I missed out on because I was afraid to try new things?  Instead of dwelling on the past, I have decided to look towards the  future and remind myself that with each day, I can try new things and find my joy.  I understand that I probably won't want to do new things every single day (how exhausting!), but if I find something which interests me, I will try not to shy away from it.  

Since I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder over a year ago, I can see where my fear (fear of making mistakes, fear of trying new things) had held me back a lot.  Now that I have overcome a lot of my fears and anxieties (and I know that it will be an everyday endeavor), I have been shown the happiness and fulfillment that had been awaiting me... and hopefully awaits me still.

I have one more quote I want to share.  It is by Eleanor Roosevelt.  I bought this quote at a book store, and it looks very plain and simple, but speaks volumes (this is very characteristic of the woman who spoke them):

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

This is something I can easily accomplish every day (maybe not so easily?).  I have this hanging on my refrigerator, so I see it each morning.  It reminds me of the opportunities to be had, and how by conquering my fears, there are great rewards that can follow.  These rewards aren't always tangible.  They can be feelings of bravery, relief, kindness.  Or it can be the fact that I just learned something new, which would not have happened if I didn't face my fears.  I feel like this has been happening to me a lot lately.  Do I feel this way because I held back so much before?  In any case, I feel so much better now.  

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...