Making a Difference

I was at church this last Sunday, and a young man gave a talk about "looking up".  He talked about how important it is to "look up" to heaven for answers.  He is a convert to my church, and he talked about how his becoming a member came to be.  The thing that stuck out most was how he said that we (as a group and individually) made him feel so good.  He also mentioned the way we live our lives and treat others had set a good example for him.  He quoted scripture from Matthew:

Matthew 5:14-16

14  Ye are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.

15  Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

16  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

This made me ponder... a lot.  I have heard this scripture before, but it really touched me on Sunday.  To be good and honest people, it is our responsibility, our duty, to rise above and be the ones setting the good example for others.  You can take this and apply it in so many contexts.  I am thinking of our youth right now.  How difficult it must be to be a young person these days.  There are so many influences that are being hammered into their young, impressionable brains and hearts.  We are so lucky to have so many opportunities and conveniences today, yet there are so many poor examples and influences penetrating the minds and spirits of people today.  How hard it must be to try and set a good example for others and be a young person in today's world?  I was in the parking lot at our local grocery store, and I heard some young men (high school age) saying the foulest things.  Now... I do remember being that age and saying these types of things just because I could... but I see it in a different light now.  I am not saying to myself, "They need to shut their mouths!"  I'm thinking, "Oh boy... how many people... how many children are hearing them right now and thinking it is 'cool'?"  I look at what is on our televisions, on the internet, and how easy it is to access EVERYTHING on our cell phones, iPods or iPads etc....  This makes me uncomfortable sometimes.  

This young man giving his talk on Sunday said (I'm paraphrasing), that if we ever feel like we aren't giving service to others, that he wants us to think of him, and how by us being ourselves (being kind and good) helped him find peace.  

This message can be for anyone.  By being good and honest people, and by helping others, we are making an impression on them.  Even if we think it's small or not at all, it could mean the world to them.  I think of the scriptures and how amazing Jesus is, and how he served others.  If we all could follow suit (and I know many of us do), but if everyone did... how amazing would this world be?

Happy Tuesday to you and yours..

P.S.  Happy Birthday, Mom!  

Happy Birthday, Dad! (on Saturday)

Happy Birthday to my father-in-law! (also on Saturday)

Happy Birthday to my aunt this week! (on Thursday? Ahh! I can't remember... some niece I am!)

Yes, that's right, my dad and father-in-law share the same birthday.  Doesn't that make it so easy for me and my husband?

Paying Tribute Where it is Due

This has been a busy week.  I am just now able to sit down and write for this weeks blog.  I am at work right now and am reflecting on a funeral I attended last Saturday.  My boss from high school is someone who I still keep in-touch with, and we also lived down the street from each other my Senior year.  Her mother was older and quite unwell the past few years, and she passed away.  She was a very special woman, and I am honored to have known her.  I want to dedicate this blog to her and share with you all how amazing and strong she was.

She was born in Oklahoma in the 1930's, was the youngest of 14 children (oh my!), and she was born with her left arm only down a tad below her elbow.  She excelled in school and atheletics.  She played basketball and softball, and of all positions to have played in softball, she was the pitcher.  In her adult years, she taught physical education at the local high school (where I grew up), and she even taught my mom.  My mom loved her.  All of her students called her "Teach".

I always admired her.  She never let anyone tell her what she couldn't do.  This woman could do anything she put her mind to, and she certainly did!  She had many wonderful qualities.  She was kind, loving, hard working, strong, and spoke her mind.  I think what I looked up to her the most was that she spoke her mind.  I appreciate the fact that she did this in a way that was tough but also loving.  That truly is an art form!

I would like to share a couple of stories from her funeral service which showed her strength and love.  This first took place when she was a young woman.  She had moved away from Oklahoma, but went back for a short time.  She went on a bus and spotted a young mother and baby sitting in the back.  She loved children, so she decided to sit back there and meet the young mother.  She was enjoying herself, chatting with the young woman, playing with her child, and the bus driver said, "Ma'am, you'll have to move to the front of the bus."  The bus driver was talking to her.  There was segregation at this time, and the black people sat in the back, and the white people were supposed to sit in the  front.  Needless to say, she ignored the bus driver.  He said it for about the fourth time, and she said firmly, "I'm not moving to the front of the bus."  He said it again, "Ma'am, you'll have to move to the front of the bus."  She responded firmly, "I will get off this bus before I move seats."  The bus driver stopped the bus, and she stepped off.......... with a standing ovation from the people she had joined in the back of the bus.  Talk about standing up for your beliefs and sticking to your guns.

The second story was later in her life.  A young man spoke briefly at her service.  He was a student of hers in high school, and he was in a wheelchair.  He said that on rainy days, the students would either play sports indoors or they would square dance (she loved to dance).  When she was about to demonstrate how to square dance, she needed a student to help her show all the others.  She chose the young man in the wheelchair.  He was always so touched by her acceptance of him, and he looked up to her.  This was very touching.

One more story came to me just now.  I learned at her service that she would go to veterans hospitals (I'm assuming during the Vietnam War?) and visit amputee's (especially ones who lost their arm(s) ).  Many times these young men would feel extremely depressed, and she would talk with them.  She would encourage them with, "If I can do it, you can do it."  She helped countless people througout her whole life.

I felt it important to share these stories in my blog.  Sadly, it is very easy to forget the service that people do once they pass away.  It is up to the people who are still here to open their mouths and continue to remember and honor them. 

I am so fortunate to have known her.  She set an incredible example of how to live life.  I hope I can set even half of the example that she set for me.

Happy Friday to you and yours....

Lessons I am Learning

I feel like I have been thinking (and talking about) my grandfather a lot lately.  I think it is because he taught me so much in his life.  He taught me things not only by talking but also by example.

I found out a few years ago that the following was his favorite poem...

IF

By: Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Just this moment, I looked up at the poem and re-read, "If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch...".  If you think about it (past or in more present times), and you are in a group, how many times have you (in one way or another) lost your virtue?  I know it has happened to me before.  I can think of times when people have said things or told jokes that were not very nice, and I just accepted it in one way or another.  Two of my proudest moments were when I didn't care what people thought, and I didn't go with the crowd.  One story happened in high school.  This can be an incredibly difficult time for youth, and my goodness, I certainly felt the challenges of life in those days.  There was one popular girl on our basketball team.  We were getting ready for a game, and she told a racist joke.  It touched me deeply because she was talking about a race of someone who I love very much.  I didn't look at her, and I continued to get ready.  She noticed that I was the only one not laughing.  She asked me why, and I said to her in a very matter of fact tone, "I just don't think those things are funny."  This made the girl very uncomfortable, and I think she even apologized.  It was a very big feeling of empowerment for me.  Years later, there was another time when this was happening more continually, and I did not have the courage to say anything.  The "being quiet" thing didn't work either.  I was suggested to do a "silent protest".  Anytime I heard anything that made me sad or uncomfortable, I would just leave area.  This made me feel very good.  I may not be able to change what others say or feel, but I can at least remove myself from the situation for that period of time and feel at peace with myself for doing that.

There are certain times when I wish I could shout from the rooftops exactly how I feel and why.  I'm too afraid of hurting peoples feelings and making them feel uncomfortable.  I feel like my silent protest is a happy medium for me.  I can remove myself from the situation, not hear the things that make me sad, and I can hope and pray that others will notice and reflect on the things that they say which aren't nice.

Now, I am by no means perfect!  I'm sure that I've had my fair share of times when I have put my foot in my big mouth.  What I am referring to above are bigger more specific things.  I also think I want to change my new years resolution.  Earlier in the year, I wanted to learn how to deal with stress better.  Although this is something I want to do, I don't want it to be a resolution.  I've changed my resolution to be more understanding of others.  One of many ways I can start being more understanding is, if I hear something that makes me feel sad or uncomfortable, instead of getting upset, I will try to see where the person is coming from and hope and pray for a way to help them (if I can).  

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...