Tis the Season

I know I am no where near alone with this thought, but this time of you year is one of my favorites.  I love Christmas time.  It gives us a great excuse to partake in festive activities and to share the spirit of the holiday with others.  This is a time for tradition.  I love following traditions, but I also have found that when we have made our own and followed them, it gives me a sense of accomplishment.  I feel weird writing that I feel accomplished after following a tradition, but it really does take effort to do them.  I am going to write about some traditions and things I look forward to each year at this time.  I feel really great when we are able accomplish (there is that word again!) all the things on our "Christmas To-Do List".  Isn't it funny how "To-Do Lists" are usually something that we might grumble about, but when it comes to doing fun activities, we can't wait?

1.) Wrapping presents and watching "White Christmas" and "It's at Wonderful Life".  Sometimes I'll even do them together.

2.) Putting up Christmas lights at our house and my father-in-law's house.  Actually, my husband puts them up; I just hold them and make sure they stay untangled until he's ready for them.

3.) Driving around the neighborhoods and looking at Christmas lights.  I love to do this at least a couple times before Christmas.

4.) Going to my church's temple and looking at the lights they display.  It is spectacular!  It's a great night because we will make a whole evening of it.

5.) Going to the "Creche Exhibit" and seeing the different types of nativity scenes from all over the world in one building.  This really gets me in the mood for Christmas.

6.) Getting a tree and trimming it.  Last year our tree had so many pine cones on it.  I loved it.

7.) Every year I make Christmas cookies and we pass them out to our neighbors.  It was a wonderful opportunity for us to get to know our neighbors the first time we did it in our neighborhood.  This is a tradition that my husband's family had done for a long time.  I loved the idea and we do it, too.

8.) Sitting down with my scriptures and reading the first few chapters in Matthew, Mark and Luke of when Jesus was born.  This is a newer tradition I started.  Last year, I only read in Luke, but this year I want to read in Matthew and Mark, too.   

9.) Spending time with loved ones.  I love spending time with my family and friends as much as possible, but it feels so special to be with them during this season when we share our love, happiness, and blessings with each other.

I know that the last two I mentioned should be at the top of my list, but I always like to save the best for last.

I hope you all get to participate in and enjoy all your family holidays and traditions this year.  There are a lot of traditions we had when I was little, and I wish I could still do so many of them.  I now have a mindset that instead of getting discouraged about not being able to do them, I can just modify them and still partake in their joys.  After all, this is the season to be jolly...

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Happy Thanksgiving

It is that time of year again.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  This is a favorite holiday of mine.  A  time of giving thanks; a time of gratitude...  When I was a little girl, we always had Thanksgiving at our house.  I loved it.  My mom would bake the turkey, and I remember loving to help her baste it.  Another favorite thing I remember about Thanksgiving is afterward, my sisters and I would go in our bedroom and watch the newest episode of "Friends".  Okay, the "Friends" episode is really at the bottom of my list of "What my childhood Thanksgivings were like", but I must be honest that it was a fun part for us.  In all seriousness, I loved it when our family would get together.  When I was really small, I remember my great grandfather being at our home.  We called him "Pop's" and also "Papa".  He was a wonderful man, and lived until he was 92 years old.  I was 12 years old when he passed away.  I remember he would always bring a six pack of Heineken for my dad.  It was Pop's way of showing appreciation.  Heineken is a German beer, and at the time was considered one of the best, and it was not cheap.  It was a thoughtful act on my Papa's part, and my dad always appreciated it.

In recent years, I have not had many Thanksgivings with my family back home, but I have had the opportunity to spend them with my husband and his family.  A tradition that my husband and I have on Thanksgiving is to talk about what we are thankful for while we are at the dinner table.  I am not sure if this is a tradition that his family started, or if it was just the two of us.  In any case, it is what I look forward to most (the second runner up would undoubtedly be the pumpkin pie).  I decided that I would write down some of the things I am thankful for and why.  You may have noticed the word "some" in my previous sentence?  This is because I am thankful for so many things.  I truly could go on and on, but I will only write a few down for my blog.

Here they are (in no particular order):

1.)  The Service Men and Women in our Country...

Each year that passes, I see myself sitting at a dinner table with the one (or one's depending on how many people I am with) I love.  There is good food, good company, and a feeling of love and home no matter where I am.  In that moment, my mind feels a pull for all the men and women who volunteer to serve our country, and I think of the one's who are far away from home.  They are making such a sacrifice each day.  I think of them who are away from their spouses, children, parents, and how much they must miss being home, and how sorely they are missed.  I think of them a lot, but especially on Thanksgiving.  I thank them in my heart, in my prayer, and hope that they know how much someone like me appreciates all they do.

2.)  My Many Luxuries and Freedoms...

It is especially on Thanksgiving where I reflect on the many luxuries I have in my life.  I have a roof over my head, food in my cupboards and refrigerator.  I have a refrigerator, a car, a job.  I live in a wonderful place where I feel safe and happy.  I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness on Thanksgiving.  I usually have a wonderful meal, and I think of all the people in the world who are hungry.  Other things I am grateful for are that I live in a country where I can walk down the street unaccompanied.  I can say hello to a perfect stranger on the street and not feel scared.  These are everyday luxuries and freedoms that so many of us have.  There are too many people who think they should have all these things "just because".  I wish everyone looked at the things I listed above as "luxuries" because that is exactly what they are.  Our grandparents, great-grandparents, etc. did not have many of these things in their lives, and many of these people lived happy lives.  I hope to someday teach my children that these things are not to be expected.  They are luxuries.  I know I am saying that word a lot, but I don't care: luxuries, Luxuries... LUXURIES!

3.) Knowledge...

I am grateful for the opportunities I have to learn.  I can learn all I want.  I now understand that I will be learning forever.  I am thankful for the accessibility I have to books and other resources.  I am a stones throw to a library.  That is amazing.  Last year I was having severe anxiety issues.  I will always have anxiety, but I have learned many ways to deal with it.  I will have times that are better than others, but it is so wonderful that I have that knowledge!  I remember hearing the phrase, "Knowledge is Power!"  That is a simple truth.  Amen to that!

4.) Circle of Family and Friends...

I love my family and friends.  I feel so loved and supported.  Within this last year, I became a member of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, (say that ten times fast!) and I was very nervous how my family and friends would react to that knowledge.  I was met with unconditional love and support.  This is something I am incredibly grateful for.  I feel the most content and at peace I have in a long time (maybe my whole life).  I feel like I am more me then I ever was.  What a wonderful feeling it is to know that my family and friends love and support my decision to be me.  I love my family and friends so very much.

5.) My Husband...

Yes... my husband is my "family", but he is so much more.  He is a strong man who teaches me every day.  He is level minded, smart, funny, supportive, loving, thoughtful... the list goes on!  I want him to know that I thank the Lord everyday for finding him!  He makes me want to be a better person.  He challenges me to face my fears.  He has many qualities that I strive to attain.  He is patient with me (well... except when I am driving, or have anything to do with the car when he is in it... haha).  In all seriousness, I love my husband am thankful for him every day of the year.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and I hope you have many things to be grateful for in your life.

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Found Something I Love

A few weeks ago, I was asked to join the choir at my church.  I have been asked before, and whenever I was asked, I would think, "I love to sing in my car (when I'm by myself) and in the shower, but I'm too scared to sing when someone is within very close earshot."  Just a few weeks ago, a very nice woman from church approached me, gently put her hands on my arms, looked straight into my eyes and asked if I was interested in joining the choir.  Actually, she said something along the lines of what would it take to get me to join the choir.  I remember both of us giggling, but her saying that they were in desperate need of people.  The following week, I said I'd do it.  The first practice I came to, I was excited and scared out of my skin!  I was asked if I was alto or soprano?  I didn't know what that meant.  After asking a few questions, I realized that I am a soprano.  I also figured that since I'm new at this, it is the safest bet to go along with the melody.  I've only been a member of the choir for two weeks, and I LOVE IT!  I am learning every week.  I am unable to read music, but I can follow along with the high, low, long and short notes.  For anyone who is reading this and knows how to read music, I am sure that the last sentence I wrote sounds quite amusing.  The best part is that I told my husband about it.  When I decided to join I let him know that we'd have to wait an hour after church before we went home because practice was immediately after church for a full hour.  He was fine with that.  The first day of practice, I am standing there, and I see him walk in.  He is making the long walk from the door to the stand where we all were.  The head chorister said, "Is he joining us?"  I laughed and said, "He should!"  As he was walking closer and closer, I did not want to get my hopes up.  I thought to myself, "There are a lot of seats in this chapel that he could decide to park and sit and listen.  Don't assume he is coming up here and then feel disappointed."  Well, low and behold, he came up and stood behind me!  So, now we are in the choir together!  It is a lot of fun.  A friend from choir asked me, "Do you practice at home together?"  I thought in my mind, "Goodness, no!  I'm too mortified to sing in front of anyone by myself!"  But, I nicely said, "No we don't... I'm too shy."  How funny it feels to be too shy to sing in front of my husband.  I don't feel shy with him at all, except with that.  Another funny thing is that I sing to my little Sunday School kids at church (and even though I am scared, and still feel like I don't use my best singing voice, I still do it and enjoy it.  Why am I not as shy with the little ones?).

Our church gathers together once a year with all the other churches in the community and they do a community sing around Christmas time.  Ours is less than a month away, and I'm looking forward to it.  Our church is doing two really great songs.  I am practicing them at home (when I'm by myself).  Maybe I should get a little more brave and practice when my husband is home?  Baby steps... baby steps...

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Week of Learning

This week has been loaded with learning experiences.  I have a relative who has been in touch with me recently and asking me questions about my religion for a paper she is writing for her masters program.  This has been a great opportunity because I have learned within the past year that the person who is teaching a topic is the one who learns the most.  Now, I am not "teaching" my relative, but I have been answering questions and doing my best to talk about misconceptions that are out in the world regarding my faith.  I felt that I have learned so much in sharing and talking with her.  I wanted to make sure that everything I touched on was as accurate and easy to understand as possible, and I found out two things.  The first was, "Wow, I know a lot more than I thought I did!"  The second was, "Hey, I'm pretty good at looking things up in my scriptures!"  I not only learned more, but I found some confidence that I did not know was lacking.  I am very thankful for my relative, and I am grateful that she felt comfortable coming to me with her questions. I was a little nervous because I saw how long my answers were.  She assured me that she was happy to read them.  There was one story that I shared that is very close to my heart which I have not shared with very many people.  It is something that is very sad, and I am not sure if she knew about it.  This sad thing did not happen personally to me, but it has had a profound effect on my life.  After sharing the story with her, I felt a little worried because I did not want to make her feel sad or discomfort in reading it.  To be honest, I wont talk about it in my blog, but I just hope that she feels okay with all that I shared.

I still struggle with worrying what people think.  What I am dealing with now is the fact that my worried feeling is more delayed.  In general, I have a fear of causing discomfort to others or offending others.  I know that I don't typically do anything to cause these reactions, but the thought of causing any not good feelings to someone scares me.  Maybe "scares me" is a little strong.  I just find that I feel a sense of guilt  in certain moments in my life, and then afterward, I feel a sense of dread because I worry about what repercussions will happen due to a comment I've made or an action I've performed.  I heard a saying once that 99% of the things we worry about wont happen.  I find that I have an internal struggle sometimes.  There are times when I feel confident in who I am, what I'm doing, and what I'm saying.  Then, if I open myself up and become a little more vulnerable, I worry, worry, worry!  What I am learning is that I think I need to make myself a little more emotionally vulnerable so that I can face my fears.  I need to tell myself that it's okay to talk about certain things, it's okay to cry in front of someone if I'm sad.  I have a feeling that when I am around others who are crying that it is my job to be the supportive one and not to cry.  I have this feeling in me that says, "You need to be the strong one."  Then, afterward, when I am by myself, I cry my eyes out.  This is not saying that I have never cried in front of others before, but there is something in me that tries to hold it back until later.  I find that if something is making me so sad that I'm crying in front of them, I do one of two things (sometimes both): I will hide my face with my hands (or not look at the person at all), or I will apologize.  I don't know why I do that.  Luckily, this type of situation does not come up very much.  You would think that after I have described myself that I might feel uncomfortable with people crying to me?  The answer is, not at all.  I am always available to be a shoulder to cry on.  I understand how good it feels to get a good cry.  I encourage it.  I want my family and friends to know they can turn to me for comfort.  It makes me feel good knowing that I can be of help and service to the people who I care about.  I just have a hard time letting out a good  cry in front of others when I need it.  I know I'm not alone in this, but I sometimes feel like the minority in cases like these.  I think I need to just practice being okay with opening myself up to the people I care about and hopefully my worries and fears will subside over time.  I hope this works.  I know it will.

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Happy Hallowen!

Yes... you read it correctly.  I wrote Happy Hallowen.  This is a fun memory I have about the Halloween holiday.  When my husband and I were in our first year of dating, I remember going to his house to carve pumpkins.  He said, "Come over on your dinner break from work, and we can clean the pumpkins."  I hadn't done anything with pumpkins since I was in grammar school, so I was pretty excited... and rusty.  I showed up, and I thought we were actually going to "clean" the pumpkins.  I wiped off the outside, and was thinking, "When are we going to gut them?"  He teased me because that is precisely what he meant.  He still teases me about that.  He'll say, "Let's go 'clean' the pumpkins",  with a big emphasis on "clean".  That same first year, we started carving the pumpkins, and he wanted to do a "Happy Halloween" pumpkin (which is what he has done every year since).  It looked incredible, except for one thing... he only carved out one 'e' in Halloween.  He miraculously fixed it, but it's a funny joke with everyone in our family.  We always say to each other at least once, "Happy Hallowen!"  

 

We always have a fun time at Halloween.  We go to my father-in-laws house, carve a lot of pumpkins, get a little bonfire out in front of the house, and have a bucket of candy for the kids to pick from.  It made us feel so good because we have been getting more into it the past three years, and we have parents who say, "We look forward to coming here every year to look at your pumpkins!"  One guy even thanked us and said that we were making people happy.  How sweet was that?  My husband does a lot of the really intricate fun ones.  I like to do the simpler pumpkins that don't take as much time.  I see myself as a pretty patient person, but not with pumpkins!  Last night was a great evening from start to finish.  My husband's brother and his wife came to spend the evening with us, we chatted with fellow neighbors, and even had friends stop by and trick-or-treat with their little ones (and give us yummy muffins, too!).  It was a great night.

I know that Halloween is a time where people spend WAY to much money on candy, and kids have WAY to much sugar in their systems for the days to follow, but it is such a fun experience.  On Saturday evening, my husband and I helped at a Halloween church party for the little kids, and we had a great time!  It was just as much fun for us as it was for the little ones.  You can't beat seeing children decked out in their costumes and excited to share about them.  All the little children had grins from ear to ear that night.  This holiday is so much fun.  I even got a tad dressed up myself on that Saturday.  I bought a witch hat, and wore a lot of make-up.  It was a fun excuse to look silly for an evening.  The funny thing is I forgot that my husband and I needed to go to the store that night before we went home, so it was a tad embarrassing walking into the grocery store with so much make-up on my face!  Oh well... it was all in spirit of the fun holiday.

Happy Halloween to you all!

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Writers Block!

Good Morning All!  This is the first time I have sat down at the computer and cannot think of what I would like to write about today.  To be honest, I have a few things in my head right now, but I can't make up my mind.... I plan on coming back in the afternoon or evening and making a decision on what my blog will be about.

I laughed to myself just now because I thought, "Maybe I should change my blog to Tuesday Afternoons with Me... 

Until then! :)