Happy Sister's Day?

I know we have a "Mother's Day" and a "Father's Day", but is there such a thing as a "Sister's Day?"  With all of the holidays we have, I am sure there must be a calendar out there that has a "Sister's Day" on it, but in case there is not, I am a firm believer that there should be one.  In just a few weeks past, I had the delight of spending time with my sisters.  I am the youngest of three, and we are geographically spread out these days, so it is a true treasure when we can all three be together.  There was one full day of us having fun... and we sure did!  The first thing we did was go to a bagel shop and have breakfast.  We talked and laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more!  We were having such a good time that the owner of the shop walked over and with free snacks in hand and commented on how nice it was to see people having so much fun.  We later got pedicures, went to the beach, had a nice lunch, and ended the night with a BBQ.  I am very grateful for our relationship.  We each have our strengths, desires, and paths.  Although we are each different and unique, we always seem to be going in the same direction in our lives.   I feel very blessed to call them more than sisters... to call them "friends".  This reminds me of a memory that sticks out very sharply in my mind from my youth.  When I was very little, my dad told all of us, "You see each other right now?  You are looking at your best friends.  Friends will come and go in your lives, but your sisters will always be your best friends."  I remember when we all heard this, we responded with a lot of "No ways", and "Nah's..." and the like.  We didn't realize that this would really be the case.  I saw this a lot in my life, especially during my adolescence.  This was a time when our family was going  through a rocky time, and on top of that, the circle of friends I had began to ignore me because they followed an example of another.  I was quite sad at the time, but it brought me comfort knowing that my sisters were my friends.  They were both off at college, and I called them often.  I missed them then, but I was happy because I still got to see them very often.  As the years went on, I relied on them for advice and friendship.  Now that we are all adults, there is a feeling of comfort I have.  I know that we don't get to be around each other very much, but I also know that all I have to do is pick up the phone, and it's like they're in the next room.   I know that I miss them, but I'm never sad because when we talk, it's as if  no time has passed.  I know that we have a friendship that will never break.  It's nice to use the word "never" in a positive place, isn't it?  

We now all live our own lives and in different areas far from each other.  It makes me feel good to know that no matter how far we are or how long it has been since we had seen each other, that when we do connect, it's as if only one day has gone by.  Who knew that my dad would be so right?  I sure feel lucky...

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Witnessing Positive Attitudes

Do you ever think about when you get old?  I don't want this to be a question you ask yourself with a depressed feeling, but seriously, does it cross your mind?  The reason I pose this question is because this weekend my husband and I made a trip to visit his grandfather who lives a couple states away.  We had a really great trip.  We were able to spend some great quality time with him and take little (easy) field trips.  He lives in a very nice facility... one that I hope I would be able to live in if I ever am in his position.  We went to his facility several times this past weekend, and I had the opportunity to scan the room at all the faces there.  Although they had wrinkles on their faces, difficulty walking, difficulty in remembering... I found myself thinking, "What were they like when they were my age?  What were their lives like?  What were their dreams and aspirations?  Did they ever think of how they would be when they were old?"  There was also a church service we attended on Sunday on the property, and I feel like most of the residents were there.  We showed up right on time and had to sit in the back!  It was very nice to see.  This is when I had the most time to reflect and wonder who they are.  Every time my husband and I arrived, we had the residents saying, "Hello" with big smiles; we had people introducing themselves to us.  One sweet woman said to us this morning, "Good Morning!  How was the wedding?!"  I smiled and said in a really friendly tone, "Oh... we didn't go to a wedding this weekend."  She smiled and said, "Oh, I thought you were here for a wedding..." then she went on her merry way.  One sweet thing I witnessed was an interaction with a resident and a young girl who works there.  I would say that the resident was in her nineties, and the young worker who was in the dining room had to be in her early twenties.  The young worker stopped, sat at the table, and just talked to her.  She talked to her like she was a regular person... not like she was an old person.  She asked her about her day, what she watches on television... things that we all talk about.  The young girl told her how she watches "Jersey Shore", and even taught the resident "Bones".  Now, for those of you who might not know what this is, it's when two people put one of their hands in a fist and bump fists with each other.  The resident got such a kick out of this!  I saw it again this morning, and she smiled so big and bright.  It was such a sweet sight.  I am sure that these people who work there help keep the residents feel young and valued.  I certainly hope so.

The main reason for our trip this weekend was to visit my husband's grandfather.  We had such a great time with him.  I am so happy and impressed with his attitude.  He remains positive in his demeanor and grateful for his blessings.  I am very happy to have been a part of this trip, and he is such a sweet man.  I am glad I know him and can call him "family".

Right now I am listening to James Taylor and these lyrics are playing right now:

Shower the people you love with love

Show them the way that you feel

I felt like sharing those lyrics.  It just seems really nice, doesn't it?

As it has been a busy weekend (and since it is early, early Tuesday morning... yes... I will be busy when I wake up), I decided to write the blog and post it in the wee hours this Tuesday morning.  I hope you enjoyed reading about my feelings from this past weekend.

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Bloom Where You're Planted

I have had this saying in my head since I was a little  girl.  There is a fun memory of how it came to be.  I went to a bridal shower for a family friend with my mom years ago when I was 12 years old.  The highlight of the party was that I got to play with my cousin who is five years younger than I am.  We have always had so much fun together.  At this bridal shower, there was a game.  Everyone received a clothes pin.  Anytime a lady was caught crossing her legs, another party member could go and steal her clothes pin (and all the ones she collected thus far).  Now, at this party, none of the women really took it seriously, but my cousin and I (being the only two children there) were on the prowl!  We wiped all those ladies out!  In the meantime, we were getting so into it that I remember my cousin getting mad at me that I had more pins than she did.  Since we both collected so many, we both got a prize.  My prize was a coffee cup.  It had a little girl on it.  She was in her garden in the mud, and I believe the cup had two sayings on it.  I remember one of them being the title of my blog today, "Bloom where you're planted".  Being such a young girl, I never knew what that meant, and quite frankly, I didn't really care.  All I cared about was the funny memory attached to it.  I am also glad to report that my cousin and I were fast friends once again after that afternoon, and we have remained close ever since.  This makes me smile.

I want to share with you a note that I carry in my purse.  A couple of months ago, I was visiting with my grandma.  I stayed the night at her house.  In her living room, I came across an autograph book which belonged to my grandpa.  This autograph book is kind of like a yearbook, but he used the same book from his childhood until he was eighteen.  There were several notes I fell upon in his book that I loved so much that I copied them by my own hand.  Some are so precious and close to my heart.  He not only had his classmates sign it, but his family as well.  Here is a note I want to share that my grandpa's uncle wrote to him.  I decided I want to live my life this way.  Here it is:

Whatever you do

Do with your might

Things done by halves

Are never done right

I love that.... so true, isn't it?

I am going to say the title of my blog once again, "Bloom where you're planted".  That means so much more to me now.  I find myself at times in a rush to do things, go places, be in a certain state of mind.  This saying came to my mind a few days ago, and it reminded me to be content and satisfied with where I am.  It reminded me to not look ahead so much and worry and plan my life away.  This almost sounds like a continuation of my blog post from last week, doesn't it?  I think it is important for me to remember where I am.  I need to not focus on where I want to be and then worry about when I'm going to get there.  This doesn't happen to me very much, but these feelings will sneak up on me from time to time.  This saying is also like another one I remember.  It is a very simple one, yet it makes me reflect just as much, "Wherever you are... there you are."  I remember last year my husband and I went on a trip.  I was having lots of issues with my anxiety during that time, and I thought back to a paper weight at my home that said, "Home is where you're heart is."  This is another very common saying we all have heard, but it made me think, "Where is my heart?"  I then realized that my heart is with my husband, and no matter where I am, as long as we're together... I'm home.  We both went on an amazing trip to Italia last October.  It was a wonderful experience.  Any time I felt nervous about the language barrier and my anxiety would rise, I would remember, "Home is where you're heart is."  I would think of my husband by my side and feel like I was home.

What makes you feel like you're home when you're away from home?

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Planner

No, I'm not talking about the little notebook you may have to schedule your week.  I am talking about a personality trait.  I am talking about a trait I posses.  I am very much, what I like to call, "A recovering planner."  My life consisted of me planning things out: from day to day things, to what time I need to be on the road and back home again, to entire vacations.  Now, I am not saying this is a bad thing.  I still do some of these things.  What I am about to write about is what I have learned by loosening the reigns on my "I need to plan everything attitude."

I'm going to talk about why I wanted to plan out vacations.  I would get excited about where my husband and I would go.  I would research and say to myself, "This looks fun, so does that, and Ooo!  We would love this!"  Then upon arrival, we would be on a time schedule.  We would have fun, but always seemed too conscious of our watches.  When I was little, my family and I took two trips every year.  We went to the mountains and went camping and fishing, and we would go to the ocean and spend a few days there.  A lot of the times, we did the same things and went to the same places.  This was not at all a drag.  We would have so much fun that we would look forward to going back the next year and doing those same things.  I have very fond memories of those times.  I think it's great to revisit places when you have kids because the whole family gets to see and spend time doing things you all love.  It's like a tradition.  Now, how this affected me was that as I got older, I wanted to plan everything.  Now, my husband is not much of a planner.  As he is reading this, I can see him smiling about what on Earth I am going to write next.  Although I liked to plan most of our special outings and activities, he was the one who gently suggested that we only plan the first two days of our honeymoon and just see where the road takes on the rest.  This was very exciting to me and a little nerve wracking.  I was nervous about the following, "What if we don't find a place to stay one night?" etc...  I am happy to report that it was the BEST trip!  We got to go places, see things, find activities that we would have never found if it was a planned trip.  I loved it!  I have been trying to incorporate this practice and idea into my life.

You may be asking yourself, "You can't just not plan for the rest of your life!"  You would be absolutely right.  There are some things that are very important to plan, such as: retirement, money management, all those important things that have to do with health and survival.  I am very grateful for, what I like to call, my "planning trait".  There were things I planned that I wanted to complete which I did, such as, graduating high school, going to college, getting a job while both in high school and college,  getting my diploma, living in an area I love.  I have done all these things (and then some).  I was going to write, "Marry a good man," but even a planner should know that is something you really can't plan... even if you want to!  But, I can scratch that one off my list, too. 

Different people are planners for different reasons.  In my last blog post, you learned that I have Social Anxiety Disorder.  I have learned that people with anxiety often times like to be prepared for what comes their way, but more so than a person who doesn't suffer from anxiety.  I am trying to learn and cultivate a way of life that lets me, again, loosen the reigns on my planning, and let life happen.  I am trying to not feel like I have control over things which I don't.  I am trying to find a healthy balance where I can try to prepare for whatever life may bring and not try to plan it.  With that thought, I must also understand that there are some things I will not be able to prepare for, and when those things happen, I must remember that I will still be okay.

Wish me luck....

Happy Tuesday to you and yours...

Facing My Fears

Sounds intriguing, doesn’t it?  I did something on Saturday night that was a big learning experience and turning point for me.  I spoke in front of many, many people.  I am not sure if there were 60, 80, 100 people or more.  Here is the background:  I was asked by a leader in my church if I would speak in a religious conference and share my experience of my recent conversion.  I gladly accepted.  I had almost a month to prepare a five minute talk.  I was surprised at how calm I felt the weeks leading up to the day.  I felt more nervous as the day neared.  I stayed up very late the night before practicing my talk.  The day came, I went to work, came home, and my nerves were very high.  As we arrived, we were quite early, and I couldn’t even sit down.  I even walked into a table because I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going (my husband and I had a good chuckle about that).  I saw another leader of my church, and he asked me how I was doing.  I can’t remember what I said exactly, but I know that my face had a big grin, but wide eyes said, “I am very, very scared.”  He said very warmly, “Don’t worry… You are among friends.”  What a nice thing to say.  I remembered those words leading up to my turn to speak.  My time came.  I got up, approached the podium, and I could see that microphone staring me down.  I began to speak, and after I got through the first few sentences, I felt so much better.  I had felt that I truly was “among friends.”  I am happy to report that it went so well.  I made people laugh, and the best part was that there were parts I didn’t expect for people to laugh, but when they did, it felt great.  There were parts of my talk that were more serious, and I could feel people listening.  After the conference was done, I had so many people come up to me, shake my hand and thank me for my words.  The conference continued the next morning.  The same man who asked me to speak the night before was going to be speaking that day, and he asked if he could share a story which I had shared in church a few weeks before.  I told him he could.  His topic was about forgiveness.  I had forgiven a girl who was very mean to me when we were younger, and I feel so much better for it.  I was able to see that she was mean to me because her life was so hard, and I, for one reason or another, was an easy target.  She was hurting, so she hurt me.  Since she hurt me, I really did not like her.  As I got older, I thought I was over it, and didn’t care anymore, but I had realized that these past few years I actually hadn’t truly forgiven her, until recently.  I hope that my story being shared on Sunday may have helped others.  I hope that my words spoken the day before had touched people’s hearts.  It made me feel good that after the conference was over on Sunday, people were telling me how they liked my talk the day before.  One girl even said, “I liked it so much, I thought about you the whole way home.”  Those words made me feel so good inside.

You may be wondering why I am talking so much about this talk I did this last weekend?  That is because last year I was diagnosed with “Social Anxiety Disorder”.  I may talk in further detail about this at another time.  There is a very W-I-D-E range of explanations for what Social Anxiety means, and it effects each person differently, but one of the things for me is that in some cases I really worry about what other people think, especially if I make mistakes.  Can you imagine how it felt for me to speak in front of all those people?  Oh, and I forgot to mention that I slipped up on a few words in the very beginning, too!  By going through my nervousness, and getting through my talk, it gave me more confidence.  I had faced my fears, and in return have received more courage.  I am learning to be grateful for my trials and burdens because I have noticed in recent times that by trying to stay positive, there are times when those trials and burdens can turn into blessings.  They have made me stronger.  For instance, there have been times that my fears, by facing them, have turned into my bravest moments.  I am not sure if  I would consider myself to be a brave person, but I have had moments of my own personal bravery.  In giving my talk, I got to meet a lot of wonderful people.  There are a few people who I know I will always remember, even if I don’t see them again. 

Happy Tuesday to you and yours… 

Father's

Thank you for reading this blog.  I feel bad that I didn't get it out in the morning, but I feel good that I am here writing it now.  It is a beautiful day today, and I am so happy to be able to sit down and write my thoughts.

This last Sunday was Father's Day.  I couldn't help but think of my dad and the things I remember most about my childhood with him.  I am very thankful because my dad spent a lot of time with me and my sisters growing up.  He would play catch with us, he would rebound for us and play basketball games with us.  My dad loves fishing, and he would bring us on camping and fishing trips.  As a little girl, I got bored very quickly with fishing, but my favorite part of the trips were the evenings.  We would eat dinner, sit around the campfire, and my dad would tell stories.  I would beg him to tell the same stories, and we only heard them on our camping trips.  By the way, my dad is a great storyteller.  

I have just a few memories that are sticking out in my head right now, and I would like to share them and reflect on how they made me feel in the moment and now.  This first memory is when I was a little girl my dad started a game.  I am not sure if it was just him and me who did this, or if it was with my sisters, too, but every summer evening we would wait for the moon to make it's appearance.  Whoever noticed it first would say, "My moon", and the moon would be theirs for the evening.  I now live in an area where due to the weather I don't get to see the moon as often as when I was a child.  On clear nights, when the moon is so bright, I look up and in my heart I say, "My moon".

A second memory I have with my dad is that he would play catch with me and my sisters.  My sisters and I played softball, and my dad would throw us pop flies to catch.  We would do this for hours.  As we got older we would ask him to throw the ball higher, and I remember telling him, "Make me run for it!"  I loved catching a fly ball on the run.  It made me feel so good.  I remember the first time my dad brought home a wiffle ball and bat.  I was very young, and I never played T-ball.  I learned to hit the ball from that little ball and bat.  I remember one of the first pitches my dad threw to me; I hit it so hard that it grazed by the top of his ear!  He laughed so hard because he could feel it graze by his head!  I played softball on a team from when I was in second grade to eighth grade.  My eighth grade year, I knew it was my last year.  I did not want to play in high school, although I was good enough to where I could have.  I remember I was playing in my very last game, and there was a pop fly.  I was playing third base, and when you are in the infield, you have first dibs on any fly balls.  I ran back, back, and back, and I caught the ball and ran into the fence!  I made the winning catch!  I knew that I had ended my softball career on the best note possible by catching a fly ball that I was so familiar with.  I was so glad that my dad was there at that game.

My last memory I want to share is when I was six years old.  My dad and members of our extended family built the first house I lived in.  When I was six years old, my parents sold the house, and we moved.  My dad and I were the last one's to leave the house.  As we were approaching the end of the driveway, I said, "Dad, Stop!"  He stopped the truck.  I jumped out, and I went down to the patch of field that was stepping distance from our driveway (that could be seen from the kitchen window).  My sisters and I have a lot of fun childhood memories playing there.  After jumping out of my dad's truck, I made my way in the field, under an old oak tree, and I picked up a rock.  I walked back to my dad's truck, hopped in, and said, "I wanted something to remember this place by."  My dad didn't say a word, and we drove away.  My dad was amazed at how I was only six years old, and I was thinking in those terms.  He still remembers that, and so do I.  

In the spirit of Father's Day, I hope my reminiscing about my father may stoke the embers of loving memories with your father's (or father figures in your life).

Thanks for these wonderful memories, Dad.  Happy Father's Day, and I love you.

Happy Tuesday to you and yours....

A little delay until tonight....

Hello Blogging People.... 

This morning got away from me... and I don't have time to write my blog until tonight.  Please stay tuned, and this will hopefully be my only "Tuesday Evenings with Me".  Maybe one of my blogs coming up should be about how it is okay to not be perfect?

Thank you for your understanding, and I hope you will enjoy my blog tonight. :)  I have something I have been thinking about for the past few days, and I look forward to writing it...

Until this evening! :)